‘Leave Miley Cyrus Alone,’ Rants Rosie
01 May 2008
Former talk show host Rosie O’Donnell has defended Miley Cyrus, the 15-year-old Hannah Montana star in the middle of a raunchy photo furor.
Cyrus apologized this week for a racy photo shoot with Vanity Fair magazine shot by celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz. One photograph apparently showed the teen covered only by a sheet.
O’Donnell defended Cyrus, saying the controversial Vanity Fair photo was in good taste. “Leave Miley Cyrus alone,” O’Donnell said, going on to declare that she “didn’t think it was … pornographic. … it was sort of a beautiful portrait.”
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(sigh) OK, evidently, like some other obnoxious “celebrities” who seem to think that everyone is vitally interested in whatever they might have to say on any given day on just about anything, it looks like Rosie isn’t going to go away, even after she’s been dumped from two different TV shows in rapid succession.
O’Donnell also polled her blog readers (in her usual sub-literate style) inviting them to weigh in on this burning issue, asking in her “Question of the Day” feature: Do U Care About This Photo?
Well, turnaround is fair play, so I have a question for Rosie. Leaving aside, for a moment, the obvious fact that “u” have a case of the raging hots for sweet little Miley (who is, unquestionably, a very cute gal) — may I inquire as to just who the heck asked “u” about it, anyway? And my follow-up question: has it ever occurred to “u” that, in all likelihood, comparatively few people outside your fawning entourage of hangers-on care what “u” have to say — about anything?
Let’s bear in mind that this is the woman who has been publicly pleading with Britney Spears for the past year and a half to come live with her (and her “wife” Kelli Carpenter and their kids). Now THERE’S a charming scenario, eh? Better that menage-a-trois for Brit, according to O’Donnell, than hanging out with bad-influence gal-pals Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.
On November 29, 2006, pouring out her woman’s soul to Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Joy Behar and Baba Wawa on “The View,” O’Donnell declared that she would like to teach Ms. Spears how to wear underwear again (!) She followed this remarkable confession with the claim that her feelings for Britney were “purely maternal.” Mm-hmm … yeah, right.
O’Donnell went on (she always goes on…), blithely adding she wasn’t worried that Britney might corrupt her own children. Obviously, this a highly responsible mother, putting her children’s welfare ahead of her own gratification and unwilling to take any unnecessary risk of jeopardizing their well-being, yes? Then again, I suppose that with her for a mother, there’s not much damage anyone, including Spears, could inflict on the mind or morals of an already irretrievably damaged youngster.
So, what’s really going here, anyway? It’s quite simple, and all-too-familiar, actually. A sexually insecure, middle-aged lecher, tiring of a Lolita gone a bit long in the tooth, finds a younger, fresher replacement! Only this time, Humbert Humbert is a woman.
Although Britney — unlike Miley — isn’t jailbait, it’s pretty easy to forget that (technically speaking) she’s an adult, given her sub-adolescent behavior. While this may have made it easy for O’Donnell to indulge in pedophiliac fantasies about Britney, someone (O’Donnell’s “wife,” perhaps?) must’ve done an intervention. Recently, O’Donnell showed a modicum of conscience — or at least some self-preservation instincts — when she was quoted as saying
I have to stop. … I’m a 45-year-old overweight lesbian. She’s like a 23-year-old hot, skinny sexy girl. I think she’s going to call the police soon. … I phone her, I leave her like stalker-like messages. …
It seems like Rosie may have had a flash of lucidity, recognizing that even in today’s Sappho-worshiping society, in which lesbianism is widely regarded as the next thing to sainthood, it still ain’t cool for married parents in their mid-40s to be hitting on girls half their age, while making leering remarks about their panties (or lack thereof) — regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Besides, it’s looking like Britney is more interested in older men–specifically Mel Gibson–anyway (read story).
Nevertheless, although it’s laudable that someone apparently tried to talk some common sense — if not common decency — into O’Donnell, we all know that pedophiles are never really cured. I suppose now we can expect to hear her regale us all with rapturous declarations about how she’d like to take young Miley under her wing and “mentor” her.
Yes, Rosie, no doubt there are many things you (and Kelli) could teach Miley … as long as her parents aren’t inconveniently around, that is.
