* America’s (Musical) Game?

17 Oct 2004

To the Editor, Cityview & Pointblank Magazine:

After spending most of the day watching the baseball playoffs, it appears that something needs to be done regarding the musical agenda of “America’s game” — an increasingly ludicrous title that probably should have been discarded along with 5-1/4-inch floppy disks.

A couple of facts, by way of context. According to the Commissioner’s office, 26.1 percent of file 849 players (750 active and 99 disabled) on the 2002 Opening Day rosters of the 30 major league teams were born elsewhere than in the 50 states. What’s more, almost 50 percent of 5,781 minor leaguers were in the same category.

By the beginning of the 2003 season, the number of MLB players born outside the U.S. had risen to 27.8 percentof major league players born outside the U.S., representing 16 foreign countries and Puerto Rico. The Dominican Republic leads all countries with 79 players, while Puerto Rico is second with 38 and Venezuela is third with 37. The Montreal Expos lead all major league teams with 14 players, while the Baltimore Orioles have the second-most with 12 and the Texas Rangers, Los Angeles Dodgers and San Francisco Giants each have 11 players.

Additionally, 46 percent of the 6,196 minor league players signed to professional baseball contracts were also born outside the 50 United States. Those 2,851 players represent 32 countries across the globe including the Dominican Republic (1,437 players), Venezuela (793), Puerto Rico (113) and Mexico and Canada (95 each).

OK — back to the music. Evidently, we are now consigned to hear “God Bless America” during the seventh-inning stretch for as long as the Global War On Terrorism lasts, which is to say forever. Before 9/11, we only had to endure individuals wrapping themselves in the flag when there was an election; now we have it as a mass movement in perpetuity.

So why go half-measures? Why don’t we all sing “America” during, say, the second inning (in recognition of John Edwards’ concept of “Two Americas”)? We could follow that with “Yankee Doodle” in the third inning, so as to render due homage to Uber-owner George Steinbrenner — who never lets us forget for a moment that it’s always all about the money. Then, in the fourth we could sing the theme songs for the four branches of the military — “When the Caissons Go Rolling,” “Anchors Aweigh,” “The Wild Blue Yonder” and “The Halls of Montezuma”— to show our support for the troops, of course.

We could fill things out with”Stars and Stripes Forever” in the fifth, “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” in the sixth, and “America the Beautiful” in the eighth.

And while I would never dream of tampering with the time-honored tradition which starts every game with the “National Anthem,” I would humbly suggest that it might be appropriate to close each game with a stirring rendition of “When Johnny Comes Marching Home,” in honor of those carrying guns both in countries which don’t care much about baseball (e.g. Iraq) and those that do (e.g. Korea).

Yr Humble Correspondent,

DP

~~~

“Military music is to music what military justice is to justice.”
—Groucho Marx